Friday, January 9, 2009

Feelings that had made me numb trying so hard not to miss him seemed to thrust out, one right after the another, the way flower petals extend themselves to receive the sun of the season, quietly and with certainty.

--Amrita, Banana Yoshimoto

It's still an effort to move my left wrist. But it has improved. I still don’t know what strained it –most likely from stress the other day.

Thinking that I still have not finished Amrita depresses me. Frankly, the book is unbelievably a bore. No matter how I love Banana, I have to admit that the story is too slow and there’s nothing to drive me reading. Aside from that, there’s something too sad about it. I had a dream before; I was standing on a cliff with someone. And before us was an abyss. I don’t really recall much –it was too long ago. But I remember I was enveloped by sadness so deep as I look down in the chasm. And despite of having a person beside me, I felt alone. It’s not like we were going to jump off. We were just gazing at the vast blackness beneath us. That’s all I could remember. Strangely, reading Amrita reminds me of that dream. I don’t know… Anyway, I should finish the book.

Haven't progressed much with the Pages for Pounds challenge.

Lately, I’m distracted by fan-art (proof is on my previous post, hehe). I have not drawn anything seriously for quite a while. The only sketch I made the previous year was merely out of boredom. It was of Haido as Adam. Whatever I drew aside from that were just doodles and were put in the trash during the end-of-year cleaning. That’s it. And it was only out of spontaneity when I started editing that 'Haido-sketch' a few days back. And suddenly, I want to do more. Artistic hunger. Maybe. But since my left wrist is not fully well -–technically I’m right handed, but I need the left hand for support— these would suffice for the moment.

*from the same sketch I used for the fan-art in my previous post --and the lines are from Hyde's songs ('Midnight Celebration' and 'Shallow Sleep')*

[insert witty line for segue]

It was Rachel’s birthday yesterday. She treated us for dinner at Rairaiken. I was not able to eat much. She called me just when I have finished my dinner, and I ate a bit if snack too. But, in spite of having a full stomach already prior a bowl of ramen, I enjoyed eating a 2nd dinner. It warmed my heart that she wanted to spend her birthday with us (me, Hanna, and Raquel) –-even if it was only for dinnertime.

I think I got things backwards, like as if it was my birthday to be the one touched. But I really am grateful. I feel so loved.

I’m easily pleased. I guess you develop appreciation for simple things when you age. Maybe not for everyone, but this is the case for me.


rachel_diva said...

of course you are loved!
i love spending time with you guys.. kahit nga lang hang out and sleep at your place!!!

totally relaxing!!!

love you.. and excuse you.. you're not yet old!!! i am.. :( sad trivia :(

Aqueh said...

love your sketch and your fan art... very impressive, paw... keep it up...

pawdough said...

Thanks! (^____^)


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