Like Waves

"Addictions are universal, regardless of their form.

I can’t say if they’re good or bad, but they survive. Eventually, you can’t get enough of them. In the end you’re either sick or you’ve lost your grip. One thing or another. Even when you know you’ve had more than what you can take, they creep back like waves . . .

What do we accomplish through addictions?"

- Sakumi Wakabayashi,

Amrita, Banana Yoshimoto

Just because we are not allowed to access the internet in the office (and yesterday too!), I'm now reading Banana's 'Amrita'. I wanted to finish the book last month. But that goal was hindered by a lot of things - or rather because there's a lot that I have a thing for. **laughs**

No one could put it better than Banana (yeah, I'm a Banana lover). The number of things that you can get addicted to is as immense as the ocean, probably. To me, addiction is L'Arc~en~Ciel, Arashi, jpop/jrock, Asian dramas, movies, and Anime. And because I cannot be updated on them without the internet, I'm mostly at peace if I know my pc is connected. **sigh** This isn't healthy anymore, I know. But I'm being cradled by these waves, taken by these waves, then brought back to this beach and snatched away again. These waves that I love, where I'm peaceful and most restless, will probably kill me in the end. Like Banana said, what do we really accomplish through addictions? I'm staring at faraway landscapes. There are probably many beaches out there more beautiful than where I am. I want to see them. But here I am, at this beach where I'm fenced in by waves, coming and going. However, don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm asking to be saved. Because I love this beach - enveloped by my beloved waves. I'm just saying it's not healthy to let them confine me here when there are other places waiting for me. I'd like to think that everyone has other places waiting for them, other sceneries to be discovered. That's why I can't be riding the same waves over and over - in my little beach. Although I love it here, this place is also the most dangerous place to be - for me, that is.

**And since I posted this, you know I gave in and accessed the net. Sheez, I'm such a weakling! Hahahaha . . . Now that I'm online, the sun is finally shining! Haha . . Addicted and crazy, that's what I am**

I better stop here. I'm spouting nonsense - and I sound morbid too. This blog has no point really, probably just the side-effect of abstaining from the internet and reading Banana's novel. Not a good mixture. If you're reading this and reached this far, please don't stop loving me **laughs**