お誕生日おめでとうございます相葉ちゃん! Though you are not able to throw a proper birthday bash, there are people around the world who are celebrating your natal day with you. ♥
**p.s. sorry, I forgot who made this beautiful wallpaper =(
It’s been a while, isn’t it? It actually feels weird writing right now. *laughs* So, it’s almost Christmas! I promised myself I’d write something before the year ends. This year has been short of adventures, methinks. However, though there were days that I felt extreme sadness, this year has been full of love as well. On the times that I felt so lonely and unimportant, the people most important to me have made me smile and laugh. As for my fandom, this year is Arashi’s year. I love the boys so much. Just like how it says in their songs, they have turned my tears into smiles (Ew, emo! LOL). And, I may not have gone out of the country this time… but I have so much hope for 2011. =) I have ordered some Arashi pins last month --the ones they sold during their recent tour. It’s due to come mid-December, but it hasn’t turned up until now. *sigh* They say patience is a virtue, but....... So anyway, when I ordered it, I planned on giving it to friends who are also fans. But then, one of them has shipped out of the fandom. So should I still give one to her? It’ll probably be a waste. But I’m broke already so I don't have the means to go and buy another present. Aargh, This dilemma. How profound. Hahaha. Like I said, I love my boys so much – I’ve been brainwashed *laughs* – so I wouldn’t want to give the pins to someone who doesn’t really care about them, right? Is there somebody out there who understands the plight of a fangirl? LOL. Oh well, I’ll decide when the pins arrive. Like what my mom loves to say, we’ll cross the bridge when we get there.
. . . . . Why did I broach up the pins again? I digress too much. That’s why I can never be a writer. . . .
I'll try to write something more meaningful next time, I promise. But I have to go back to work. Hopefully, I find some quiet time when I get home, or at least some time before the year ends. Hopefully. XD
But before I go, I leave you with this cute picture of my boys. ♥
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one” --C.S. Lewis
If I hear anything more relating to kpop, I think I’m gonna be sick. Seriously. It’s one thing for people I know to like it. But it’s another when they drop what you both like completely all because of kpop artists with abs. Grrrr. It’s infuriating. The person I’m talking about is the very same person who did not attend the slumber party. I don’t care if she reads this because my feelings were treated like shit. So the hell with it. Looking at that quote above, it seems there really wasn’t anything we had in common... I’m trying to be more understanding because, really, I’m upsetting myself over this trivial matter. If we’re friends, then we’re friends. To become a friend of another, shouldn't there be at least one tiny – no matter how small – something that you and that person have something in common. Sharing a liking for something maybe. But if that tiny thread that binds you together snaps, then what? I know I’m wrong. I shouldn’t feel this way. I, in all honestly, feel a little ashamed getting so wound up over this. Besides, my ’friend’ and I are actually on speaking terms now. Everything should be okay now. But somehow, there’s something different, like something is amiss; or there’s something before that’s no longer there. Probably because I love jpop so much, and she kpop. She and I both liked Arashi before. But after Rain’s concert, she has, I strongly feel, abandoned the Arashi fandom completely. Well, in all fairness, she loved Rain first and only got into jpop because we became seatmates and she was intrigued with what I was always watching. But hey, I've got nothing against Rain *that's just silly, lol* because I kinda like him too because of FullHouse .... This may sound very shallow. Indeed. But, the thing is, it was on that penchant for Arashi that we became friends. If she doesn’t like them anymore, that’s perfectly fine. But then, there would be nothing we can talk about. Our conversations had always been centered on that same obsession. We are not prepared for this. We, I guess, weren’t able to find something else that we’ll enjoy both when one of us bugs out of the fandom. It’s a little sad because there should be. There are millions of things out there that we can share the same liking for. To think we’ve known each other for about three years now too. We can talk about life in general now. On just about anything under the sun. But there seems to be none. So I realized, there’s really nothing I can talk to about with this person. Again, if we’re different then that should still be okay, right? We should get along just fine. But, again, this person rarely comes over to my station in the office to chat, even though my station is only 10 paces from hers. It can easily be just me who’ll go to her desk. But I don’t dare. Gawd, I won’t. Not right now. I’m being a pain, I know. So be it. Because I’m not confident that this person is thrilled to speak to me. And I don’t want to impose myself again like last time. Arrrh, I’m such a pain! Everything should be back to normal. Maybe, it does look like it is because we’re talking. But everything is NOT okay. But I shut it. A friend should be able to feel that something is amiss. But I guess I’m wrong again. I must be. I don’t know anymore. Like I said on my post prior this one, I’ll leave things as it is and see what happens. Maybe we’ll find what’s missing. Maybe I’ll find it. *sigh*
And as if this dilemma isn't enough, I've got the kpop craze to irk me some more. What's up with their reality/variety shows. I don't get it at all. It's not just my type of entertainment, I guess. But everyone in the office is simply crazy about them. I. Don't. Get. It. It's frustrating. There's this reality show where 2 kpop idols pretend to be married. I don't like the concept at all. I must really be getting old. Idols pretending to be married. Pretending to fall in love. I go for simpler settings. Like Arashi's Mago Mago where they become grandchildren for a day, helping grandparents with their work or chores. Or the Mago Mago segment "Totsugeki Kodomo no Bangohan" wherein Arashi cooks dinner for kids (Ah, I'll never forget Aiba's bell pepper stuffed meat because his meat stuffed bell pepper was a fail, lol). There's another Korean reality show where idols try to take care of a toddler. Hmmm, sounds like Kodomo no Bangohan, doesn't it? I tried to watch that kpop show. Really. But it's sooo dragging. Or maybe I'm just too biased. idk. Hahaha... For now, I’ll think of this coming Saturday. Yes, I’ll think of happy things. *smiles* My friends and I are going to Zoobic. I was hesitant to go, but then Rach said we can pet the tigers just like Aiba. So I’ve decided I’ll come. Rach said the magic word. Aiba. Hahahaha~
(I’ll find a proper screencap from TSD when I get home)
**kawaii ne!**
**but if it's like this, then It's okay if I don't pet it. LOL**
Asu o mabushii kurai ni umaku egakou toshite Bokura wa kirei na iro o nuri sugita mitai Chotto kakkowarui koto mo kowareta yume no iro mo Paretto ni hiroge mou ichido asu wo egakou Kitto nurisugita irotte shoro ni modorenai kedo Sore de ii atarashi iro de asu o egakou
--from Aozora Pedaru, Arashi
[translation] We tried to paint the future as bright as we can With too many beautiful colors it seems And with of somewhat bad things and of broken dreams So let's spread out our palette once more and paint the future A picture with too much paint can no longer be brought back to white But that’s fine, we'll paint tomorrow with a new color
~~~ Forgive my poor translation there *is sheepish, heehee*. I like the song so much – the melody and the lyrics – and I want to share it with everyone. It’s the OST for the film “Honey and Clover.” More importantly, it’s one of Arashi’s songs! XD
I feel a little miserable in the office these days. It’s not about work –work is fine, actually. But 2 weeks ago, my colleagues and I decided to have a sleepover. Apple’s roommate moved out and we were going to keep her company for a night. I was so worked up on it. The thought of sleepovers simply makes me thrilled. To me, it’s a good sign of friendship. So if a friend would suddenly tell me that sleepovers are no fun, I’d be taken aback. I’d be really really sad.
And so, we set the date of our little slumber party. It was not planned out well, actually. It’s more of a spur-of-the-moment. I asked my colleagues if they were free on the coming weekend and they did say ‘yes’. Two days before the set night, my friends confirmed that they’re coming. But, honestly, it felt like I was the only one eager to go. I shouldn’t have insisted. But I did. I guess, it’s a little insensitive and rude of me to insist for them to come when it’s not even my house we’re going to. So finally, 2 of them backed out the day before the sleepover. It was about 8 or 9 in the evening when they sent me their message saying they can’t come, their text messages came one after the other too. I was so upset and so so sorry for myself. I hate self-pity. But I just can’t help but think they don’t want to be with me. It’s a boycott, I thought. I wanted to be nonchalant about the whole thing but I can’t stop feeling hurt. Yeah, I’m such a drama queen. *laughs* In the end, there was only person who was not able to go. . . . Arrh, I was hoping for that person to come most of all. But she didn’t.
I don’t like keeping grudges. I get easily tired of arguments that I’d rather forget the whole thing and start over. But how exactly do you get chummy again with a person who doesn’t seem to want to be with you. Aren’t friends supposed to be happy when they’re together? So, say, I’ve forgiven the person already. But then, she doesn’t appear to genuinely want my company so. . . . . will it be better if I stay away from that person? I wouldn’t want to impose myself on others. Never. So for now, the situation between us is, err . . . . I don’t know. I feel like a fish out of water. How exactly should I behave to a person like that? Oh well, the person doesn’t seem to care at all. I’m probably wasting time and energy over this. I’ll just leave things as it is for now and go back to my Arashi world. LOL. Kidding. Hey, my social life isn't this limited, I assure you. Ahaha. . . . . It’s just a little difficult to understand how a friend could be ignored for more than a day.
So anyway, my friends (a totally different bunch) and I will be going to Zoobic next week. I want to see tora-san! Yeah, just like Aiba –no, slash that, definitely not an encounter with tigers like my dear Aiba-chan’s. But I want to pet them a little at least. =D
Ah, I want to go home right this minute. I just saw the news. On VS Arashi’s special episode, Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz Rolling Coin Towers with the boys . And because I’m the only one here in the office that’s into jpop, there’s nobody that I can fangirl with. Tsk. Everyone in the office is simply crazy with kpop. I try to like it but I just can’t. It’s still very different from jpop. And besides, I like my boys to be pretty, not beefcakes. And unlike kpop boybands, my boys are not mannequins. *docks under the table I know, I know, I’ll be killed for saying that*
So we've changed our OS to Vista recently in the office. I don't think I like it. It has so many buttons and icons that clutter my windows. And it's slow... or maybe that's just with our connection or the hardware. But I love the Window Switcher feature. Looks cool, isn't it? =)
And yeah, my wallpaper is vampstastic! LOL. We were not allowed to pick a wallpaper before. But now I have all the inspiration I need by just looking at my desktop.... Though, of course, I have to fight the urge to ogle at my desktop so I can bring up my windows and do my work. XD
Hello there! How do you like my new layout? I just had an impulse to change it yesterday. I like my old layout actually. I love it for its simplicity and for being my brainchild, of course. But then, I think it’s time to give my virtual home a revamp. So I had been searching for a good template since yesterday. The hardest part is to find something you’ll like in millions of available templates in millions of sites out there. Thank heavens for Beta Templates! Ahehehe. I found a few other good templates. But this one I’m using is my current favorite. Obviously. =)
It’s sunny today. The sky yonder is grey though. I hope it doesn’t rain on my way home. I got my dad’s foldable umbrella in my bag. But I’d hate to take it out and then fold it back, especially when it’s dripping wet. I’m lazy like that.
And I hope it doesn't rain this Saturday. One of my classmates in high school is getting married and I’ll be attending her wedding. A friend called me last weekend and told me about it. The church will be the one down the road from my place so I've got no reason to be absent, he said. Just my luck. It’s not that I don’t want to go. But I’ve also got another set of friends coming over the night before that, which will most probably result into a sleepover. And the wedding ceremony starts at 8:30 in the morning. I’d hate to get out bed. I hate waking up early on Saturday mornings. But the funny thing is, I will get up early this Saturday and I will attend the wedding. I have to. I guess. *laughs* I haven’t even bought a gift yet. and my cousin borrowed my camera, which won’t be returned until maybe next week. Like I said, just my luck. It’s almost 3pm again. I should be tidying my desk now. . . . I really hope I’d be able to bring my self out of bed this Saturday. I really do. And I so badly want my friends to sleep over. I’m pathetic, no? XD
Me: I hate the angels in Supernatural. The representation is just so wrong. Daddy: Dear, that’s why it’s fiction. It’s not true. Me: But still. It’s wrong. Daddy: Then why do you still watch? Me: I have a thing for Dean.
I am so unproductive these days. What should one do when his inspiration is zilch? I’m merely floating through each God-given day. This lassitude must be a crime. Just the other day, I was listening to a preaching of Myles Munroe and he said that the greatest tragedy in life is not death but life without a purpose. And purpose is exactly what I don’t have right now. Sometimes when you hear too much about life and purpose, and you don’t really action on it, your heart grows unsympathetic and cold. So, you become listless and apathetic. I don’t know if that’s true for everyone but it is for me. In fact, I think, I have already become so well adjusted to letting the waves of life take me wherever it rolls. I feel nothing. It bothers me but not enough to stress me out. Am I not doomed if I don't change my routine soon? I know I am. My colleagues are planning to go abroad to work and are asking me if I want to jump in. It's capricious, I think. The job will only be for six months. So, I don't know. Too risky. But, everything is still up in the air anyway. So, for now, I’ll see how far I can go with this current lifestyle. I'll find my next step, sure. But let the waves carry me through each day in the interim.
I learned a word today. Obfuscate. I came across the word from a news article. It means to confuse or to make obscure. It’s funny --I mean, who uses such a word these days? I don’t. And I won’t. Would you? Hahaha . . . . Sorry, I’m too random. This is the result of being a loafer.
So anyway, I’ve got Supernatural to fritter away what little energy I have these days. Yeah, I’ve been hooked as well. Though I must admit there are some things in the plot that are too hard to swallow. But heck! What's an iffy story line compared to Dean Winchester, right? LOL. I love the first and second season. Uhm, the 3rd season is okay. But the story just went downhill for me when it entered the fourth season. It’s getting more infuriating as the story unfolds. But then again, Dean is there so I still watch. I’m pathetic, I know. I can’t help being a girl, can I? Yeah, you probably wouldn’t understand. I love you if you do. *laughs*
I‘m in the office still. Our system is down so I can’t really work now. And so, more loafing ensues, hehehe. Opposite my station, my colleague is playing ‘Gee’ of SNSD as he tidies up his workstation and tucks away his things in his pedestal. The song is a current favorite here in the office --not sure if Gee really is the title. It gets played everyday at the start of the shift, like an anthem during flag ceremonies, and before we hit ‘log-out’. It's a fun song, shakes off some of our stress from work. And honestly, apart from the "oh yeah!", I don't understand one bit of the song. But the part where it goes "geegeegeegeegee" is somehow --what's the word-- stimulating. XD Oh, which reminds me, I'd better clear up my station too before the song ends. Need to be home early so I can watch much Supernatural.
But before I go, here's something for a bit of lulz.
