Oblivious to the approaching light

I want to write. Frankly, I’ve been thinking of a good start since yesterday but good ideas won’t come. My head is just… bleh. Nil. I guess this is out of exhaustion. I’ve been working on translating Laruku’s Nemuri ni Yosete. And I’m still having a hard time making a proper translation for the title itself.

I was stuck in traffic yesterday too due to the typhoon. My shift ended at 3, but Kristell and I decided to let the rain abate before heading home. We watched several Arashi/JE clips. There was a scene where Tom Cruise was eating a bowl of rice and Kobe Beef and suddenly we were craving for a hot Mongolian Quick Box. So from the new building, Solaris, we brazen out the storm and headed to RCBC’s food court. I don’t know how long we stayed in Mongolian, but the rain just won’t stop and it was getting late. Our only choices were to wait for the rain to subside or brace up and wade through it so we can at least go home at a decent hour. I got home at around 10 –and no, we didn’t wait for the heavy rain to peter out. Traffic was terrible, as always when it rains hard. Thank goodness for mp3 players! So I plugged in my earphones and listened to cheery Arashi songs –because rain depresses me like only it can. I was soaking wet from the rain –in spite of carrying an umbrella- and, probably, from sweat too, inside the cramped jeepney. My clothes were sticking to my skin. But my subconscious kept playing Nemuri ni Yosete in my head. And before I knew it, several songs of Arashi had passed without me actually listening to them. I kept skipping back the songs.


So anyway, here’s what I make of this tenacious song. Next project will be Kaze no Yukue. Hopefully. Depends on the inspiration really, hehe. These are rather old songs of L’Arc~en~Ciel. This is just my way of. . . . coping with the hiatus. By the way, Ken’s first album, IN PHYSICAL, is made of some absolutely awesomecake, isn’t it? Genius! It’s a little sad that the songs were not made with L’Arc, which –thinking about the possibilities– might have been more amazing than how amazing they are now. No kidding. I’m seriously thinking of buying the album. That’s how good it is. And until now, I still can’t get into VAMPS' Evanescent. It’s lacking something –something essential to make it captivating and significant. To me, it can only be as beautiful as a porcelain sculpture. Elegant and cold. I don’t know, I just can’t feel it. Maybe I need to hear it in HQ. But then… I don’t know.

[First, the lyrics in Kanji is ~here~. For the romanji version, ~here~ *you need to scroll down to the 7th track*]

Nemuri ni Yosete
[Asleep]
music: Ken / Lyrics: Hyde
>>>here<<<

The sunlight tricks me to wake up
Letting memories secretly creep their way in through the window
So again, I close my eyes...

With quiet waves protecting me, I sleep
Inside a cradle, swaying and drifting
While I wait for the light somehow

To a transparent dream, let me sleep
Pulling back the hands of time
To a dream, let the broken me sleep
To the land of the purest
Until this pain softens, don’t wake me up

Ah, it’s unceasing, this constant beating
Gently embracing me

Before long, that lullaby's pace will pick up
Amidst the noise of the waves
I heard a distant voice calling out for me

To a transparent dream, let me sleep
Pulling back the hands of time
To a dream, let the broken me sleep
To the land of the purest
Because I don’t want to remember, even now

I don’t want to be touched by anyone
Because I don’t want to be broken
It’s better if I don’t wake up
And stay asleep like this

To a transparent dream, let me sleep
Pulling back the hands of time
To a dream, let the broken me sleep
To the land of the purest
A place far away from everyone

To a transparent dream, let me sleep
Pulling back the hands of time
To a dream, let the broken me sleep
To the land of the purest
Until this pain softens, don’t wake me up

Ah, the light continues to bring me along...
Someday, I wonder if I can return


**Asleep... yeah, that's the best I could think of. I like Meg-chan's translation, 'Lay me down to sleep', but I don't know if I'm allowed to use it. I am not too confident to ask her, ahehe. Or the title may mean 'Approaching sleep' or maybe 'Falling into sleep'. But I don't like how they sound. I'm subjective like that. So for now, I'll leave the translation as 'Asleep'

Like the grasses covered in white snow

WHITE SONG
lyrics&music : hyde
english translation : lynne hobday
>>here<<

Breathe
Crisp and cleansing the winter air
I dream of a world in a peaceful sleep
Snow falling gracefully down
Rejoice in winter's deep charm
I can't wait
I can't wait

Freeze
People gather around the fire
I feel all the warmth that the cold inspires
Frost covered tree tops are bright
Shimmering silver tonight
I can't wait
I can't wait

I hope snow will fall upon us soon
Everywhere
The whole world veiled in white
I'd be reset to face the seasons
Once again

Yes on and on falls the snow
Like diamonds from the sky

Our broken hearts - paint them white
Lead us into a wonderland
Pure as the snow - virgin white
A new beginning

I hope snow will fall upon us soon
Everywhere
The whole world veiled in white
I'd be reset to face the seasons
Once again


----------

I was gone for almost four days last week. I attended the wake for an aunt who died from breast cancer. Her death was hard to accept for all of us. We didn’t know she was suffering from cancer. She never told us. And it is frustrating to know that she could’ve been saved. But she was afraid to be examined by a doctor, of the bills that might come forth, and of asking for help. It was only when the disease had spread through her arms and lungs did she tell us that something was wrong. As she sat on her bed in the ward, she told my cousin, who was waiting on her at that time, that truly regret comes only when it’s too late to turn things around… I am angry. She should've been here still, making us laugh with her usual quips and gibes. If only we had known sooner, we could've at least helped her --accompanied her to the hospital (force her to, if needed). But I have no use for this anger now…

Last December, one of my classmates in college passed away too. And I think I wrote something about it... More than anything, it made me think of myself and eternity. But a death in the family is different. When I arrived at my aunt’s funeral and saw my family mourning, I honestly prayed to God “please, let me die ahead of all of them.” That was cowardly of me. It was a selfish prayer. But I will not take that back --at least, I'm not yet ready to. At the small service held during the funeral, the priest prayed for my aunt’s soul. I’m not catholic, so I don’t believe in that. What I believe is that when you’re out of here, you’re out –the link between this world and you is completely severed and you either move on to heaven or hell (Rach, correct me dear if I’m mistaken). Prayer is for the living, for the ones that are still tied in here. . . . pray for strength and for acceptance -–to accept that my aunt is no longer there, inside that huge city hall where she used to work. . . and that no one will call my cousin Tintin anymore even though her name is Abby. . . and that voice, the funny way it sometimes calls out our names in jest, will no longer be heard. Was. It would take time to accept that when we talk of her we would have to say “she was.” Was is a harsh word. . . Let me not attend any more family reunions on someone's funeral. . . Let this be the last time I say prayers of this sort. Let me be selfish. Allow me to pour these words of my coward self into this tiny knot in time, and contain them here, locked up forever. . . .

Shade of Autumn

I'm back to work. 'Was absent yesterday. Before anything else, here's a song that made me of the deepest shade of blue the other day. Somebody dared me to listen to this with the lyrics in hand. It's an old song of Laruku, from the album Tierra. And I rarely listen to this one -I doubt if anyone would otherwise. It's a bit too sappy, but thankfully it's short (well, the lyrics at least are).

Also, I was stubborn enough to try and translate it on my own *sheepish*. So pardon the mistakes and don't be afraid to point them out to me. ^^


Hitomi ni utsuru mono
L'Arc~en~Ciel
music: Ken / lyrics: Hyde
>>here<<

[english translation]

Here in my eyes
Dyed in autumn's color
Is a bird, the sky, and you
Red fallen leaves and you . . .

The throbbing pain from that time
Will soon fade slowly into the calm

In this plaza you love
Our white breath entwine

Before long, these fallen leaves will turn to snow,
And remain like that even on the day we return here

In my eyes

----------

[Kanji]

瞳に映るものこの


私の瞳の中
秋の色に染められた
鳥と空とあなたがいる
紅い枯葉とあなたが･･･

せつないあの頃の
ときめきは　もう
薄れて緩やかな安らぎに変わる

あなたの好きなこの広場に
吐息白く寄り添う

枯葉はやがて雪に変わりゆくけど
いつの日もここへ来て　そのままでいて

瞳の中に